Fantasy Bachelorette League

Will You Accept This Rose?

Will You Accept This Rose?

Some people have fantasy football; I have fantasy Bachelorette.

Years ago, when I was newly dating my husband, I proposed we put a fun wager on Dancing With The Stars by picking teams and earning points as our dancers advance through the competition. After all, what isn’t more fun with a little prize at stake?

Under threats, he made me promise I would Never, Ever, tell any of his friends he was doing this with me.

My silence lasted an unimpressive 18-hours, only until one of my husband’s B.F.F.s admitted he and his wife were also fans of Dancing. One thing led to another and we expanded to a fantasy league of four.

A lot of trash-talk, grandstanding, celebration and agony have been expressed in the year’s we’ve run our Fantasy Dancing League. Incidentally, my husband routinely picks such a bad team he is convinced a chicken could do better.

At the conclusion of each season, we celebrate with a dinner at which the winner chooses the menu and the rest of us prepare it.

But, alas, we’ve lost interest in DWTS, so we’ve jumped to ABC’s The Bachelorette.

Andi Dorfman is looking for love, and I’m looking for glory!

For anyone who wants to play along, here is a run-down of our rules:

  1. Random draft – we alphabetized the bachelor contestants by first name. Then, we counted off from the top with each of our four players getting a random team of 6 contestants. There was one left over (Tasos).
  2. We developed rules – each player will accrue points based on actions witnessed in weekly episodes. Disputes settled by majority.
  3. Point Additions and their values:
    • Gets the First Impression Rose: 5-pts
    • Gets a Rose on a Date: 3-pts
    • Gets a Rose at a Rose Ceremony: 2-pts
    • Gets the first Kiss: 5-pts
    • Sings or Plays an Instrument: 1-pt
    • Guy who cries (anytime): 1-pt
    • Guy who reveals he has kid(s): 1-pt
    • Guy who sneaks over to see Andi at an unscheduled time: 2-pts
    • Guy who takes off his shirt at a non-swim or non-event time: 1-pt
    • Guy who requires a medic: 1-pt
    • Guy who gives a gift: 1-pt
    • Guy who goes on a Hometown date: 3-pts
    • Guy who goes to the Fantasy Suite: 4-pts
    • Guy who proposes and she accepts: 5-pts

4) Point Subtractions and their values:

    • Guy who gets in a physical fight: -2-pts
    • Guy who makes her cry sad tears: -2-pts
    • Guy is accused of having a girlfriend: -5-pts

5) Winner is calculated based on team point totals

6) Trades: we haven’t really worked out the rules yet for trades, but I’m sure they will develop as the season goes. So far, we only know that you keep the points earned from your contestant for the weeks he was on your team.

Despite having a contestant who got the First Impression Rose, I’m still in 3rd place – a slow start. But, previews for future episodes look rich with point earning potential.

Fantasy Bachelorette is ridiculous. I know that. But it is also hilarious and fun. And, I assure you I’ll be watching every episode rooting at my T.V. for guys to take off their shirt, give gifts, burst into song and cry for a medic!

And, if by some far-fetched chance, Chris Harrison wants to come film our group of friends watch the finale, this can be arranged!


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